Year of the Tiger
Chinese / Lunar New Year is tomorrow! I celebrated with my friends by going out for Peking Duck at Ji Rong in San Gabriel Valley. This dish from Beijing is characterized by its crispy, thin skin, served with spring onion, cucumber, and plum sauce, wrapped in a warm, soft, thin pancake like a tortilla. It was so delish and such a special treat! Peking duck is a specialized dish and is not often found at most Chinese restaurants. Ji Rong had been on my list for years and I was so happy I finally got to try it for New Years.
When I was younger and used to live in Boston, Chinese New Year was such a fun celebration with my family, cousins, and uncles. So much food was made. We prayed to our ancesters. The adults gave us red envelopes with money. I miss celebrating with my family. It has been so long. If it weren’t for the rise of Omicron Covid cases, I would have flown home. I don’t think I have ever gotten to celebrate Chinese New Year with my family as an adult?
As I mentioned in a few posts back, the holidays were depressing and isolating because I was sick and everyone seemed to have Omicron. I think a lot of people’s plans were ruined. So for the month of January, I committed myself to going out every weekend to get myself out of my sweatpants and out of my house. I pretty much stuck to the plan and I’m exhausted! Lol. It’s tiring being out every weekend socializing. And expensive. I think I’ve gotten so used to being a homebody that I’ve forgotten how much things cost and the energy required to be on the constant go. It has been a good distraction though and I’ve gotten to wear new clothes that had been sitting unused in my closet. It does feel nice to get dressed and put on makeup and feel pretty. But I also felt a little bit guilty. The past few months prior, I had gotten accustomed to working nonstop and all weekend—on my consulting, my food blog, my brand partnerships, and my cookbook—that it felt strange taking weekends off to have fun. It didn’t feel productive and I was so used to feeling productive.
I’m still learning how to give myself grace and to not be so hard on myself. I think a part of me feels like I don’t deserve a break yet because I haven’t achieved certain goals. But I need to give myself credit for the things I did achieve and I need to allow myself to celebrate those small wins. I also need to learn how to pivot. If certain goals aren’t working out for me, maybe I need to shift my focus onto something else. Mix things up until something sticks. I think part of the reason I felt guilty for having fun this month is because I felt a little bit lost in life in terms of what I wanted to work towards next. How can I have fun if I don’t know what I want? Do I need to know what I want all the time though? Do I always need to know the next step? I could sit on my couch, in my comfy sweatpants, and dwell on my existential crisis all day, but answers don’t just come to you because you’re waiting for them. You have to keep on moving, moving forward and sometimes around in circles, and eventually it will find you. But not on the couch. Answers don’t come to you on the couch, unfortunately. At least not in my experience.
I think I finally found it though. The answers I was looking for. Or at least pieces of it. And it would not have come to me without going out, interacting and socializing with people, and having random conversations that inspire ideas. I guess the fun was productive. The ideas would not have come to me sitting at home trying to will the answers into existence in my brain. Anyway, I know I’m being cryptic because I don’t necessarily want to spell out my personal goals publicly, but I’m sure you understand what I’m trying to say and can relate.
Happy Lunar New Year my friends! Year of the Tiger. Another chance to reset. And I think I’m feeling much more prepared and ready for it this time around than on Jan 1st. Thank goodness.